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Message Notes

One to One

Ephesians 4:2; 32; Genesis 4:1-9

Bear with, Kind and Compassionate, Forgive one another



CIT: Love in Action

CIS: How to Walk in Love

SO: The hearer will love one another


Follow along at d1.church/notes.


Intro: One to One. There are 59 statements in the New Testament that have the words “one another” in them. Jesus starts us with the New Commandment to “love one another.” This is easier said than done. The Leaders who wrote letters to the churches spent time re-affirming this concept in all their writings. Over the next few weeks, we will look deeper into these “one another” statements to see how we can show Christianity as intended. 




Let’s get into the word….


1. Bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2)

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

EXP:The Apostle Paul is writing to another Multi-cultural church in Ephesus. This Church we learn in a very significant church in the Bible. Paul starts the church by preaching in the street. He convinces so many people that they stop buying idols made to a female God. A silversmith starts a rebellion against him and riots in the town. Paul had help from several bible characters. (Aquila and Pricilla, Apollos, etc..)The Apostle John most likely lived there for years, and even Jesus writes a letter to them in Revelation. So Paul in the fourth Chapter is stressing unity of the church. Diverse groups of people need to be reminded that factions and clicks will not lead to the body of Christ working as a whole. Paul emphasizes this with a call to be humble, gentle, patient and bear with one another in love.

ILL:  Bear with = Be patient, wait till someone completes a task.

When we ask a person to “bear with me” we usually use it like this. Hold on, Bear with me a moment. In a way we are saying if you let me finish this, I will give you my full attention. Since Paul has already said in plain language to Be humble, gentle and patient, we can assume we are to wait on others as they finish their race.

ILL: I was once part of a One Act Play in High School. The play was a play that took place in an ensemble cast who was a family. I was the understudy of the person who played the father in the play. He never missed a show thankfully, he was awesome in the role. He did miss a practice a couple of times and I had to run through the part with the cast. I remember one scene where they were talking in the kitchen and he gave his lines and walked around the kitchen , sometimes making himself a coffee and rinsing something in the sink. Other times sitting. As I stood in for him in the practice, I knew all the lines, but I was a stiff board. I tried to move some and the other cast members would move me to help me be in a position. We stopped in the middle and I told them, “Bear with me” I’ll be better. We did run through the scene again and I was much more comfortable. You see, in order to have someone bear with you or even bear with someone else, we have to be in a troup, a community, a church. 

Christians who are new to faith are learning. People who started in other backgrounds and come to Christ need mature Christians to be patient and allow them to grow into stronger Christians.

ILL: I was talking to a friend the other day and he was explaining a frustrating situation he was encountering. He is not a seasoned Christian and his past is checkered with many different life choices than mine. Some criminal in nature. He was having a hard time and needed a Pastor to listen to him as he is learning how to be in community as a Christian. He told me something that he was experiencing was (he stammered a little looking for a better word) a bunch of BS. He did not abbreviate. I did not react, but affirmed him in his frustration. He apologized immediately, I assured him there was no need to apologize, if that was the best word he had, I can handle it and so can God. We had a great conversation and if anything he wants to be a Christian more, because he was heard and not judged. 

APP:  Paul has spent the first three Chapters of Ephesians giving the best sermon for Christ you can read. Then he begins Chapter 4 with now that you are saved, the community of Christ followers; the church has a responsibility to be patient with you while you are finishing tasks that they have already completed.


T.S.: I think of how Jesus bore with Peter when he cut off a person's ear, or John and James when they wanted to call down fire on a town. Paul is saying you may be further ahead, but if you are doing Church right, there should always be people who need you to be patient with them as they grow in Christ.


2. Kind and Compassionate (Ephesians 4:32)

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

EXP: As Paul continues in Ephesians 4 he begins a section called Instructions for Christian living, this will continue through Chapters 5 and 6. Paul is clearly acknowledging in this book three things. 1. When we come to Christ, our behavior toward others will change. (Holy Spirit at work in our lives) 2. We will need help to know what is acceptable by God, (Scriptures) 3. We will need community to help us along the way. He says the Christian will have to be Kind and Compassionate with one another. Those outside the church for sure, but also those inside the church. 


ILL:To illustrate these principles I will need to go back to one of our foundational bible stories. 

Genesis 4:1-9

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”


  1. When we come to Christ our behavior will change

Cain and Abel were taught to honor God with a portion of all they had. As they became adults and mature they decided to make God their own God. They brought offerings to God. Cain worked the fields and had produce, Abel worked the sheep and brought fat portions from a first born sheep. Both offered what they had from their different trades. 

When we decide to make God our God, we offer him our bodies as a living sacrifice. We give him things from our various cultures, upbringings. 

  1. We will need help to know what is acceptable by God

God told Cain and Abel what he wanted. God is allowed to say what is acceptable and unacceptable in our walk. Now as we know the bible, The sacrifice of a pure lamb is important in our History. God affirmed Abel because it worked with his will and plan forever. He did not affirm Cain because there was better behavior that worked with God’s plan. 

Paul is not giving us Household codes as a new law. He is saying that God has an acceptable way for his people to act. That acting in Love will show Christ to the world and fulfill the mission of expanding the Gospel. Paul gives us Ephesians 4, 5, 6 so that everyone will know we are Christians as we modify our behavior to mirror that of God. 

  1. We will need Community help along the way. 

God knows that Cain instead of changing his behavior actually caused damage on his brother out of jealousy and rage. But instead God asks him, Where is your brother? You see, what we often miss in this story is that Abel could have helped Cain make an acceptable offering to God. he could have traded him vegetables for a sheep or even just given him a sheep out of brotherly love. But Cain’s mindset was if God rejects my behavior, then he rejects me. Abel is judging me and I want what he has. God says Where is your Brother? Abel asks “Am I my brother's keeper? The answer is yes. 

We cannot do this journey alone, we will need one another to be complete in Christ.

APP: We are to be Kind and Compassionate with one another, bearing one another in love. 

T. S.: The second part of verse 32 in Ephesians 4 is forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3. Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32b)

EXP: Paul tells us it will definitely be necessary to have a heart of forgiveness. You and I will have to forgive people the way Christ forgave us. He goes on to say in the next verse that Christ went to the Cross for all of our sins.

ILL: People say that not forgiving is like drinking poison hoping the other person will die. 

Unforgiveness doesn't really hurt the other person. But it will stop you from getting where you want to in Christ and in life. You will spend energy on someone else who is not thinking at all about you. So first you have to release yourself from the prison you have built for yourself, then you must release the other person.

ILL: 


APP: Christ continues to forgive us for our misgivings. This is not an act or a show. The bible says he throws our sins as far as the east is from the west.(Psalm 103) He puts them into the “sea of forgetfulness” (Micha 7:9)


ILL: A preacher once said this to me “When we get to heaven, we are going to see Jesus. We are going to say I am so sorry for every time I doubted, every time I walked away from you and did what I wanted…” Jesus will look at you and say “I have no idea what you are talking about!”

T. S: There is no reason for us to carry our guilt and shame for one more minute. We can take our bitterness and anger and put them to the cross, and we can forgive as we have been forgiven.                                                                                                                                                             


I want to pray for three groups today:

  1. There are some who are unfairly expecting better results from new Christians
  2. I want to pray that God will help you bear with them in their new state.
  3. There are some who are trying to do this Journey alone, God is asking where your brothers and sisters are?
  4. I hope you will find a community of believers to share with in order to please God
  5. There are those who have heard today for the first time their sins can be forgiven.
  6. I pray today for salvation.